Even the Bible is "too liberal" for conservatives. They are now rewriting the Word of God to get rid of things that offend them. Among the things that bother them are words like "comrade", "peace", and "miracle".
They want to turn the miracle of the fishes into some kind of trickle-down parable. No, I'm not kidding.
And they want to remove all references to "Yahweh" or "Jehovah". Still not kidding.
Okay, time for some kidding.
Salon decides to help them with their Hate Bible.
Cases in point:
John 8:3-7: The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group and said to Jesus, "Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?"
Jesus bent down and picked up a rock. When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, "OK, we start on the count of three. And if I see any of you throwing like limp-wristed sissies, you're next."
Matthew 9:10-13: While Jesus was having dinner at Matthew's house, many tax collectors and sinners came and ate with him and his disciples. When the Pharisees saw this, they asked his disciples, "Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and sinners?"
On hearing this, Jesus said, "Tax collectors? I had no idea, and wouldn't have eaten with them if I had known, for I favor a flat tax."
Matthew 5:21-22: You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, "You shall not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment." But I tell you that a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do, so git 'er done.
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