David Cross: An Open Letter to Larry the Cable Guy

Felt compelled to find this today.

I usually do my basic patriotic duties: fly the flag on key dates, vote, watch the Super Bowl.

But this year the commercials include Jerry Seinfeld, an aborted fetus, and Dan the Racist Nebraskan. Plus what I feel is a very subpar performance by Matthew Broderick pimping Honda grocery getters as Ferris Bueller.

You know what? I've got other shit to do. Yeah, that'll probably involve watching Caillou or something for five hours straight but I think I like my odds given what the alternative seems to be.