Category Archives: Humor

Bill Maher on Republican Morons

Maher tends to piss me off with his holier-than-thou shtick – and that may be the point – but something he hits the ball right out of the park.

“I want to just take a moment to thank the Teabaggers. Thank you so much for helping us pass health care, for resurrecting the Obama presidency. I know they’re saying, ‘Why are you thanking me? I was so against it, I marched on Washington with tea bags hanging off my Founding Fathers costume, with a gun on my hip and a picture of Obama dressed as Hitler, screaming about his birth certificate.’ And America saw that and said, ‘I think I’ll go with the calm black man.'” – Bill Maher

“Democrats in America were put on earth to do one thing: drag the ignorant hillbilly half of this country into the next century, which in their case is the 19th — and by passing health care, the Democrats saved their brand. A few months ago, Sarah Palin mockingly asked them, ‘How’s that hopey-changey thing working out for ya?’ Great, actually. Thanks for asking. And how’s that whole Hooked on Phonics thing working out for you?’
– Bill Maher

Facts About A Palin Presidency

This is cringe worthy as a thought but hilarious to read.

Some I found funny:

“God will tell President Palin to invade Canada in order to save Canadians from universal health care insurance.”

“Holding true to the tenants of the TEA Party movement, Sarah Palin vows to repeal the nation’s many unearned and undeserved entitlement programs, starting with the Bill of Rights.”

“Sarah Palin is serious about limiting the size of government, and plans to do her part by quitting halfway through her first term.”

“Palin will not allow ‘government death panels’; instead, she will force poor people to die without the intervention of the state.”

Bonus entry:

“Sarah Palin will sign an Executive Order changing the official name of the Presidency of Barack Obama to the “Socialist Hope-y Change-y” era, infuriating Texas state school board officials, who will then be forced to approve history books which admit that Obama was ever actually in fact President.”